Have you ever known, really known you are in the right place? The perfect place for you. It might be a new job, a season, a city…there is peace when you know you are in the right place.
I love my company. I’ve been with Dayspring for over 9 years and I love it. Oh I just said that, well I do love it so much! In those years I have been assigned to several positions and have learned ever so much. I love that we worship each Monday morning, I love that I have a prayer group that meets every Friday morning. I love that prayer, the word and the acknowledgement of the power of the Holy Spirit infuse each product we create and distribute.And now I have a new role. 20 days in! I was elated with the offer of a new role. In fact it was 2 years in the making. It is exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I asked for. The perfect fit, the perfect role, and the perfect company for me. It feels as if I was created for this role and that my life’s journey has been leading up to this very moment. Right place…right time! Can you imagine how I feel?
Terrified. That’s right, terrified, ill equipped, a poser, unable to do what I need to do. Last night as I sat in front of my laptop preparing for the week ahead. I began to cry, and cry enough that my hubby stopped watching the recorded Chiefs game that he had waited all day to watch. He looked at me and I said, “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow, I can’t do this.” His response said with great confusion, “What do you mean you can’t do this, this is the role you asked for.”
Well meaning, but not helpful. Yes dumb me, I asked for a role that now I believe I cannot do. What was I thinking? Even though I had prayed for two years for guidance & last month when this adventure began I was confident that this is the role for me and I know full well that the leadership of Dayspring had prayed over this as well, I was terrified. I didn’t want to remember any of that, because clearly this was a mistake.
That’s right i simply chose to forget what God has done so far in my life and then I began to list the reasons I cannot fulfill my new role.
I am not smart enough. I don’t know enough. I’m not good enough. People won’t think I can do this.
Then I begged my husband to please tell me to stay home and not go to work, ever again. I can’t go, I can’t do it.
CAN’T, CAN’T CAN’T
The word that precedes surrender. I closed my laptop and went to bed. I turned on a Christmas movie to avoid thinking. But I still thought. I thought about the Monday that was fast approaching and all my inabilities and then I surrendered. Guess what, I really can’t do this, but God can. And I am confident that He has prepared me for such a time as this, that He called me and that He will equip me.
And with that, I entered into the perfect state of mind & heart for this perfect role at the perfect company for me. For God can do anything with a heart that is surrendered.
While I feel confident in what He can do today, tomorrow will be a whole new story. And I know full well that this big adventure will require daily surrender, daily devotion, daily prayer, and daily hope.
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is you faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22,23
Boy am I glad of this truth!