Blog Posts

Parenthetically Speaking

I love Saturdays…

August 27, 2014

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Saturday, a day filled with promise and no demands.  My Saturdays nearly all begin the same way-a nice long walk or hike.  Usually, preferably with my dog, my daughter and her dog on the hiking trail at Lake Fayetteville.  Sometimes on the best Saturdays my Little Rock daughter and her dog will join us.

But occasionally I find myself waking up on a Saturday morning in a city, with no dog or daughters.  Those walks are harder to start but can be magnificent just the same.

I love to head out around 9:30 when the city is waking up to receive the day and her patrons.  (Also I start at 9:30 because I can’t bring myself to get off the couch before that).

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Parenthetically Speaking

Where are you…

August 25, 2014

 

angels unaware

Hospitality?

You aren’t at the local bookstore.  All I can find is cookbooks, lots and lots of cookbook and a teeny tiny section on etiquette, (mostly wedding) and of course the 18th edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette.  I was also directed by a very helpful clerk to DIY and decorating magazines.

When I google you, Hospitality, I get images/websites for hotels and restaurants, (probably restaurants in the hotel) (the hotel industry seems to own this word).

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Parenthetically Speaking

The Standards Queen…

August 22, 2014

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That’s right I was nominated, voted and crowned the Standards Queen of my sorority.   The Gamma Phi Betas at Kansas State University had a tradition of recognizing the member who upheld the standards of the house, the rules & expected manners.

Although it was done with jocularity, (I was sashed, crowned and made to walk, and wave through the tables at Wednesday night formal dinner), down deep it meant something to me.  Standards, manners, etiquette were and are important to me.

Now for those of you who know me, and for those of you who don’t, I am silly, sometimes a bit off color & laugh a bit too loud.  But manners, proper etiquette and standards do not equal boring, boorish, and stuffy.

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Parenthetically Speaking

There’s this guy…

July 22, 2014

 

 

john and kim

So there’s this guy and he’s kinda cute.  Silvery grey hair, big strong arms to wrap me up in.  A cute little nose, glasses that he peers over when I’m ornery.  A heart as big as…something big, the moon!  Yes a heart as big as the moon.  He claims that I am the 64 pack Crayola crayons to his black and white world, which I know translates ‘maybe a bit too colorful sometimes.’

But he loves me, ME.  Just the way I am.

Well I am sure he would change a few things if he could ,wink!   But he loves me just the same.  And it didn’t happen overnight.  And it hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it.

Marriage, oh my! Marriage is…

Hard work & easy

Fulfilling & disappointing

Painful & healing

Exciting & boring

Fun & miserable

Serendipitous & mundane

Marriage, it runs the gamut of emotions.  Marriage has moments of logic and irrational thinking and sometimes these are only seconds apart. Marriage is not for the faint at heart.

Marriage is a covenant that carries no guarantee of happiness or ease.  It is more than a fabulous wedding and yummy white cake.  Long after that wedding comes a marriage.

And that is where the real work begins.  But oh so worth the battles, the wounds the victories and defeats!

So if you find yourself in the middle of the muck and mire of marriage, battle through it. Do not give up.  Be strong and courageous.  The victory is yours!

As I type, I think back over our 28 years of marriage and am so glad we toughed it out!  That we endured even the ugliest of moments.

Now, the kids are grown and nearly all gone (although we see them (read feed them) a lot).

Today is back to just us!  US!!!

Morning conversations over Good Morning America and a cup of coffee, evenings of Netflix and good books.  Weekends hosting many in our home, around the table.  I find myself right smack dab in the middle of a relationship that has shared much and there’s more to come.

And while it is not yet perfect and will never be perfect, we are us and that is perfect to me!

 

 

 

HodgePodge, Parenthetically Speaking

Enough is enough…

February 9, 2014

enough (1)

Or is it?

You just sneak up on me. Your messages, the whisper of Enough.

You are not…

Cool enough

Smart enough

Thin enough

Pretty enough

Young enough

Eloquent enough

And anything else anyone else is…enough.

I never hear these words alone.

You are not…Cool, Smart, Thin, Pretty, Young, nor Eloquent

They always partner with Enough.

That dreaded Enough.   Enough sends me sailing, flailing into discouragement.

I could handle that voice if it just said, hey you are not cool.  Then I would just resign myself and move forward.  But Enough, gives me a glimmer of hope that if I just work a little harder, diet a little more, work on my vocabulary a little more, then yes, then maybe I could be Enough.

It’s Enough that draws me in to introspection.  Enough pulls me to focus on me. Focus to a point that I lose focus.  I can see nothing else, but the goal of enough.

I begin to strive, position, manipulate, and do whatever it takes to reach the elusive goal of being and doing enough.

Oh you with your silent letters, you haunt me. But I am not alone in my torment.  Oh no, Enough you have many followers.

When asked once, “How much money is enough money?” John D Rockerfeller replied, “Just a little bit more.”

I have company, lots of company.  Enough already enough.  Enough of you Enough!

 

Enough, you are so subjective, hard to describe, fleeting, elusive.  You are supposed to indicate the amount necessary.  But who decides the amount necessary? Oh I know your tricks; you just keep moving the finish line.  Nothing and no one will ever be enough for you, Enough.  You will just keep whispering your name and I will keep racing to hit the enough button, to cross the enough line, to reach the enough nirvana.

But Enough does not exist.  Enough you are impossible.

Many days I can resist your temptation, Enough, but some days I cannot.  My only line of defense, the only weapon I have, the only victory possible is surrender.  And then I will realize that I am not Enough and I will never be Enough.  Complete surrender, reckless abandon to the only one who is enough, who holds all the victory, all the judgment, all that is needed to make not enough, enough.

When I hear the whispers of Enough, I must move my eyes from self to Saviour.  This is my only hope of becoming who He desires me to be, nothing more and nothing less, but just enough!

 

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