Parenthetically Speaking

At the End…

January 27, 2014


toilet paper

I constantly find myself at the end and thus obliged by social manners to refill.

It is uncanny how many times I enter a bathroom (at home, in public, at work) to find a roll with 6 or remaining squares.   Of course 6 squares  is not enough, (however  when I was  4 a cranky neighbor lady limited me to 3 squares, are you kidding me?  The ultimate in micro managing, ugh).  So when I find myself faced with 6 squares I am not only socially obliged to refill, I am desperate to a replacement roll.

I constantly find myself standing in front of the company water cooler as the bottle reaches its end.  Then I am socially obliged to lift a 25+ lb. bottle of water and place it on the receptacle.  I am certain that one day this will end in a disastrous situation where a coworker will find me flattened by said water bottle.

Growing up my last name began with a ‘W’ so I was always at the end.  To further exasperate this a last name that started with a ‘W’ was followed by an ‘R’; the only one behind me, Fran Zillner.

This is not just a physical occurrence.  I also find myself at the end of the line or the end of my proverbial rope on a frequent basis.

Come to think of it I live at the end of a culd-a-sac.  Okay enough already.


What is in this for me to learn? Why am I always at the end of things, situations, and supplies?

Perhaps the true lesson is this; I desperately need to get to the end of myself.

It’s a lot harder to replace all the ME than a new roll of toilet paper, or a heavy water jug.

What does it mean to get to the end of oneself?  To say the end to self.  To say enough to self, to STOP with all the ME!

How in the world to do that is the question.

It’s always been about me.  Only child, gregarious personality, driven.  Ugh, my unique design seems to perfectly positioned to feed the ME monster.

Graciously I have been given several heaping doses of humility, but still the ME monster will not die once and for all.

I must rise daily and slay the ME monster. Oh how I tire of killing the Me monster.  Some days are easier but some days, that Me monster actually  resurrects itself…more than once!

The power, the persistence, the tenacity of ME monster  is unbelievable.  A constant battle, constant no, constant death to self.

I would be discouraged, but alas, I am a radical optimist.  I take heart, put to death the ME monster, start over and relish in the truth that His compassion never fails, and His mercies are new every morning.

(The word relish makes the ME monster long for a hotdog, STOP!!)

I understand and accept that ME monster is not going down without a fight.  But guess what, it is He that wins in the end!

Then the ME monster be gone forever!